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The Emotionally Absent Mother, Updated and Expanded Second Edition: How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect
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Review
“This book is a revelation to those of us whose mothering was short of what we needed. The author sensitively and authoritatively weaves developmental principles into a compassionate understanding of what it means to be under-mothered.” —Connie Dawson, PhD, coauthor of Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children “With compassion and sparkling clarity, Jasmin Lee Cori describes the effects of being under-mothered and what it takes to overcome them. Her book will be of great value to new mothers serious about creating a loving environment for their children, adult sons and daughters who want at long last to fill the holes in their hearts, and clinicians interested in understanding and healing the mother wound.” —Evelyn Bassoff, PhD, psychotherapist and author of Mothering Ourselves: Help and Healing for Adult Daughters “Jasmin Lee Cori has done a superb job of describing the importance of childhood attachment needs and the psychological wounds that get inflicted when an emotionally absent mother cannot meet those needs well enough. She has skillfully laid out clear steps wounded adults can take to identify their inner strengths and heal attachment wounds. I wholeheartedly recommend this book for anyone who wishes to understand and heal the wounds that can arise when parented by an emotionally absent mother.” —Shirley Jean Schmidt, MA, LPC, author of The Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy: An Ego State Therapy for Healing Adults with Childhood Trauma and Attachment Wounds “This book effortlessly intertwines neuroscience with clinical acumen in a lovely work of extraordinary depth. In her compelling, heart-rending analysis of the importance of motherhood, Jasmin Lee Cori has created a work as significant as Alice Miller’s Prisoners of Childhood. Easily accessible and very useful, it is a must-read for parents-to-be, those in the helping professions, and adults who have been wounded by a negligent parent.” —Kate Crowley, OTD, OTR/L, University of Southern California “With a compassionate and steady voice, Jasmin Lee Cori guides the reader through the difficult terrain faced by adults who have grown up without sufficient emotional mothering. Relying on personal experience and practice as a psychotherapist, she provides insight and tools to help readers overcome the challenges of a painful childhood and to move into the pleasures of living adult life fully.” —Kathryn Black, MA, psychotherapist, author of Mothering Without a Map: The Search for the Good Mother Within
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About the Author
Jasmin Lee Cori, MS, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in working with adults who experienced childhood abuse and neglect. She has worked in human service agencies and private practice, and taught psychology in colleges and professional schools. She is the author of numerous articles and four previous books, including Healing from Trauma.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: The Experiment; Second Edition, Revised edition (April 18, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1615193820
ISBN-13: 978-1615193820
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 1 x 8.1 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
46 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#11,721 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
There were times when this book was tough to get through because of the strong emotions that are brought to the surface, but it was also comforting to know that others had experienced similar issues with difficult mothers. It is true that children of abusive mothers can be good at parenting despite the bad example they grew up with as I experienced flashbacks of traumatic moments from my own childhood while doing the most basic tasks for my beloved child and vowed never to treat my offspring in such an abusive manner.
This book is a "good mother." Every page describes how I feel/have felt. The book puts words to feelings I didn't realize or only vaguely realized until I read the descriptions in the book. I feel heard, validated, and able to heal.
Finding it easy to read and understand. Has written exercises for you to participate in. Would recommend seeing a qualified therapist as it covers an indepth look into your relationship with your mother and could bring up issues that need to be talked thru.
Well-written, clear, not soppy, not full of client examples.
Prior to reading this book, I had an extremely difficult time with inner-child work in my recovery process. This book facilitated a breakthrough in trauma recovery that I am so grateful for. I highly recommend this book to anyone struggling with childhood trauma.
This book is excellent for someone dealing with childhood emotional neglect issues in their adult life. I admit that I had to quit reading for a while because the pain is too real! I never realized how much was repressed and bottled up inside me that the flood of memories was too painful all at once. I recommend this book in conjunction with talk therapy. Mourning the loss of your childhood is both painful and healing, mothering yourself is essential for recovering from emotional neglect.
Clear, concise language and a well-organized plan to understand how important the mother/child relationship is for each person's growth and happiness, and how to heal from the injuries inflicted by mothers who couldn't or wouldn't give their child what every person needs from a mother to be healthy and happy.
This book is for those who don't have all those warm fuzzy memories of the loving, supportive, compassionate mother... and for those who have loving mothers who just couldn't give you what you needed, even if you didn't know you needed it. I find myself coming back to this book again and again. I have read others, but I think Ms Cori cuts to the point without sounding too afternoon tv show ish. I cried through it the first time, but this book really helped me realize where some (ok, many) of my maladaptive behaviors came from. On your journey towards personal growth, this is a great help.
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